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GREENSBORO, NC (October 2, 2009) - Research just out shows that, while many factors carry great weight in friendships, overwhelmingly respondents who submitted essays communicate that the single most important quality necessary to be a BFF (best friend forever) is an unvarnished, No nonsense approach to communication. People don't always want the cold, hard truth from their BFF, but they say it's what they need and value most.
Analysis of over 16,000 essays and stories submitted by women nationwide as part of a contest conducted by apparel brand No nonsense® reveals the five keys for how to be a best friend. Number one on the list? The best friendships endure when friends "tell it like it is" regardless of the circumstance.
But is bold communication enough to nurture a healthy, lasting friendship? While it's fundamental, the essay participants and relationship experts point to a number of necessary key ingredients. For a good comparison, take the media sensation "Real Housewives of Atlanta." The show gets high marks from viewers for entertainment and for their straight-forward talk, but relationship experts say they lose big points as best friends for their double-dealing motives. "Clearly no friendship thrives without the most basic of needs: 'trust,'" says Renee Cassard, who has a master's in developmental psychology from Columbia University and is the relationship expert who analyzed the No nonsense® essays. "But, while breaches of trust in marriage or romance are damaging, the violations of trust in a friendship are often much more devastating."
The essays showed that, in addition to honest communication and trust, a best friend often grows from experiencing various life stages and events with someone she can relate to. "Sharing emotional and physical moments with someone who is going through a similar circumstance is a real bonding element that imbues friendships with a real sense of solidarity and sameness," says Cassard. "Having someone to test ideas or talk things through adds another level of durability to a friendship and helps cement it for the future."
In the essays, women described how their best friends reached out in times of need and provided some form of aid that was frequently provided without a call for help. The assistance provided by a best friend comes in the form of both emotional and physical support and is most often visible as the result of a crisis, such as a health-related issue or financial situation. "In times of need, friends often exceed expectations by going above and beyond what may be asked of them. Often, a best friend will anticipate and act on her friend's need before she's called on to help," added Cassard.
One of the ultimate barometers of the staying power of a true friend is simply the test of time. The essays illustrated that many women found comfort in friendships that had lasted many years. "The staying power of a friendship takes on even more importance in uncertain times. We tend to lean on our closest friends as a stabilizing force," says Cassard.
In summary, the top five tips for how to be an authentic best friend are:
- Communicating openly and frankly - always
- Consistently demonstrating truthfulness
- Sharing similar life stages and life events
- Providing assistance - often without being asked
- Fostering the friendship over miles and years
Today, 95% of American women are familiar with No nonsense®, and 31 million wear the brand. No nonsense®'s ranking in the top 25 of Women's Wear Daily's Top 100 brands most recognized by female consumers is testimony to the brand's enduring relationship with the American woman.
Headquartered in Greensboro, North Carolina, No nonsense® is a division of Kayser-Roth Corporation, a leading manufacturer of branded, licensed, and private label legwear and apparel in the U.S. Visit www.nononsense.com for more information and click on the "No nonsense® Between Friends Contest" link.
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